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This is what my husband said to me twenty years after the birth of our
first daughter:
“My greatest regret is sitting in a room totally unable to feel in any
sort of control, unable to support you because I didn’t know what was
happening. Watching anaethetists and midwives running about hooking
you up to machines, sticking needles in you with charts and machines
going crazy. I felt completely and utterly lost. If I had just had
someone there explaining what was happening I would have been stronger
for you. How could I help you when I felt pushed away and totally
bewildered? How could I hold your hand and say “its all OK” when even
the nurses (midwives) looked worried. If I knew then what I know now
I would have hired a doula”
I never realized how
much it affected him
and then I made him go
through it again a few years later! |
